Pulling out our phones, scrolling through the compost, to find the first Jonathan photo. And I find a million photos of Sousa, because Sousa had been my love then. And hated Jonathan. Because the fight in the lawn at the Officer's Quarters. And I had abstained from documenting Jonathan at that time. Out of sensitivity. But I had found one. Smashed between Sofie and Kali and a name my head refuses to remember. Why is that? Why does memory change? They say every time you can recall a memory you reconstruct it. Did I eat olives in France the summer of 2006? Did I eat the wet cake made by Alex?
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