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Hello hello on the dawn of 2024 listening to Rewilding podcast (the one with Delia Ann Turner) in a clean kitchen squeezing cucumber juice through the pores of a cotton sack I crafted just to extract the fodder from the essence (it's all essence, it's all fodder) considering the year of the Dragon coming soon Jonathan saying we will cook shrimp for his birthday this year that year all the children were born and now they are twelve and how this year didn't feel as much as a big fight as others and maybe working with that slow energy to slow down even more ice dragon stamp making drawing saying dragons Steven and I used to talk about when we were slaying boars to gain easy XP to maybe one day go out and do something real but here I am still slaying boars in my hometown mad every-time I look up from a project I've buried myself in like a mouse eggshell full of seeds like that book Allison Murphy gave me about the Country Mouse and the City Mouse and it's funny cause I'm both brimming cups of teas but I find myself in the night with my basket going through the dumpsters looking for flowers and this year it's 37 going on 38 sun cycles and not once this year did I forget how old I was and kept reminding my parts as I began to parent them better, being a better leader but I didn't talk to my grandma more than once and I rly should start dropping everything and tying the linen tie around my eyes and listening to the drums and entering the ancestral plane to move and wonder and mysteries being revealed but there's always more questions, always digging, always asking but no one in particular and I've been wondering when the bower bird begins construction on his nest because I'm wanting to make everyone in town bower birds for this Valentine's Day started keeping Dutch Brother lids torn by dogs and bits of this preparing my nest and does the bower bird live here and why is blue the rarest color when I look into the sky but beyond that there's nothing to touch or hold that is blue that is easily found save for milk tops and candy wrappers and straw bits but Valentine's Day and my birthday and April Fool's and one thing after another everything this year went by softly like cloud watching and I meant to make a watercolor of their softness but I kept inside most of the time and this year Julia says "more outside," and yeah me too, even though I'm whiny and uncomfortable I've been constructing reference images from AI without actually learning the way the pieces of the world are held together because I know cheating is good enough by most standards and I've got to do better so let it be cloud watercolors and birds on the wire and rooms full of people in the wild onto the surfaces of my notebook with greater fervor, with greater confidence, just tell the truth, just be honest and there's no way it can be bad even if we're not making baskets with our head down it'll be finding out about the dimensions of space exist and maybe asking delicious questions like why and how but mostly be here now like the Ram Dass book and in March if you have enough money can we please buy a ticket to France with Mom and Tyler and we can go right before the the wedding end of September, early October, let's go draw the tableaus in the alps and cross over to Germany for Tyler and I know the money is tight but if you buy the ticket the money will come because your craving and compulsion will lead you to it so follow the bread crumbs, follow the brine springs and pray for clarity and direction on Ash Wednesday this year and when the questions come up follow the path of pure and loud yes walking the alchemist path of our own Holy Spirit our own relationship with the Divine who we get closer and closer to as long as we don't lie or cheat or take funny shortcuts you're taking the rutted path I know I know it's safer that way and it disturbs less, it doesn't crush over the boroughs but as long as you take the way with the wind blowing rose scented smoke salt you can't be too off and maybe we'll find a dragon after all and we'll look to our left and to our right and see all the faces that were meant to be alongside us because we're learning everything that is meant for us will stay, everything we need will be near, thinking on the funniest group hypothetical bunker scenario having a mosquito biologist and a electrician and a radiologist and one kid who smells pine cones and the other who smiles without showing her gums because she noticed something and whoever it is, and however we arrive at the solution "what's important is what you can hold in your arms," -Thomas Moniz has said "asclán" they say in Irish, the amount of things you can carry in one arm and it's funny with people far away and mostly everything in a place of imagining but I'll start to write a broader story this year which includes everyone in one space, one Invisible Threads living room gather with every one of my favoritest people and I hope you're there too.
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