Maybe it's just the way it is.
Listening to a playlist I made during a time when everything felt beautiful and it falls flat. All the pieces of the project splayed around me from the working times have lost their coherence. The ink went out, so things paused, then they sat and collected dust, waiting for me to animate them. Sometimes things feel like they're swirling, sparkles caught up in my spinning wizard's cloak. They swirl and swirl with me until I tumble, the moon wanes, we fall, become heavy, become weight. I've never understood why it's like this, just the way it is. The momentum, the building, then the sudden drop. Where once there was meaning in every song and color, every conversation, every word, every letter.. to finish is to labor. The sparkle becomes a heavy rock. The people I met during the times when things were good, couldn't possibly understand that all I want to do is lay down for weeks. No singing, no dancing. So this cycle continues. All the heaviness is put away instead of finished. Texts and e-mails go unanswered. The tapestry I was working on ends in a fray. Maybe it's just the way it is.
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